Big News, Big Lies, Big Snoring Match

In order to understand the headlines on the news today regarding Hurricane Gustav, it is important to realize the role of News Media. Yes, as many people say, the news spins stories out of control to gain a wider audience, bringing revenues in for whoever. But just how this is achieved is more difficult to define.

Today, CNN was rampant with satellite images of Hurricane Gustav; how it was working its way towards to coast, and about to destroy America. The news host kept emphasizing that the Hurricane was a category 3: repetition is one way of scaring the masses. As he said absolutely nothing during his moments of speech, it would keep cutting to a new anchor. These new hosts would summarize exactly what he said, over and over - the only catch, they were "on location". This tactic of placing a host in harm's way seems to bring the event that much closer to your living room. Since the advent of computers, and technology we have the wonderful world of graphics. During the 10 minutes I watched, a total of 3 anchors "on location" reported, with the original host cutting back and forth to the meteorologist. She then proceeded to show layouts of wind patterns that some third party "Storm Chasers" apparently captured. This brings me to the next tactic: graphically displaying useless data. The images were about 400 arrows pointing in all directions, and told the person at home (or in danger) absolutely nothing. Knowing the wind speed in the middle of the ocean is not going to save your home and family.

It is just incredible how easy it is to manipulate people; mind boggling really. But it is evident how powerful these tactics are. Some grandmother living 30 miles from the coast would see the broadcast and cringe. There was a time where people lived among nature, knew about nature, and dealt with nature as it came. These forecasts of doom only make us more ill-prepared since we have no education or first-hand experience in dealing with them. Educating the public, with information that can be tracked to a scientific source seems to be the best at this moment in our civilization. We have lost the Traditional Environmental Knowledge of old, and replaced by government studies, and biased conclusions.

Addicted to Love, Healed by Time

Over the years I've become dependent on certain things - which with time, have lead to a habit. These habits have forced me to change myself in order to include them in my life. Some were good, some were bad; some easily broken, others lingering for awhile. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs are the commonplace in today's society - a door, easily opened, that leads to a severed reality.

One addiction, Love, is rampant in today's Western culture. Money, and sex are almost always cited as people can easily gravitate to them, but never fully fulfill their potential (since its seemingly impossible to have too much pleasure, or too fat a bank account). The love of another body is a strange part of being Human. I have mused about this topic for quite some years now, usually after someone has changed my mind on the topic. Falling out of love is a scary phenomenon that once complete, will never come back.

It is very hard for me to accept that something or someone is gone, when they are together it is a double edged sword of guilt, resentment, and dark nights in stare. Usually when I buy something, or become interested in someone there is a foundation for it; the "roots" of my mind are firmly established. Losing a loved one for reasons that include the very essence of a person (not being on-time, being 'boring', etc.) it is an understanding that one or both parties is not good enough. Not being good enough to be in a relationship with another is not mutual; one party decides the fate of both. One mind decides whether or not the love of two will continue and grow, or become dead and withered.

However, there is a hope for a more peaceful state of mind following a "relationship break-up": memories, and those experiences that come from them. It brings me great pleasure to dwell on the past, to remember lessons I've forgotten, or people that made me feel emotions at a certain time. I am not a fatalist, or much of any "ist" in terms of events happening for a certain reason/cause. Whatever happens, happens; Whatever doesn't, doesn't. Life should be about a constant desire to learn (from mistakes), and create some sort of personal ethic. So, when someone enters my life, and leaves it just as quickly, I write to lessen the pain of loss. It is intensely personal, and allows me to remember much more than during a conversation. Time heals.

The following is a song that I was listening to today, and seemed to be written for me at that moment in time. It is a good to be alive, during a time when others are able to express their thoughts in song. I didn't think I'd have to write a log about this, or include a song like this, oh well, atleast its theraputic:
________________
I miss your smell and your style and your pure abiding way
Miss your approach to life and your body in my bed
Miss your take on anything and the music you would play
Miss cracking up and wrestling and our debriefs at end of day

chorus
These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

I miss your neck and your gait and your sharing what you write
Miss you walking through the front door documentaries in your hand
Miss traveling our traveling and your fun and charming friends
Miss our big sur getaways
And to watch you love my dogs

[chorus]

One step one prayer I soldier on, simulating moving on

I miss your warmth and the thought of us bringing up our kids
And the part of you that walks with your stick-tied handkerchief

[chorus, 2 times]

BitTorrent and Peer-to-Peer: Internet Restriction [ Part 1 ]

I am not sure about the audiences of this blog, but downloading methods are quite important to me. These methods can be described as the ways in which one can send (and receive) information over the internet. There are numerous methods that compound as the technology improves. Mostly though, my experience has been with FXP, (or FTP-to-FTP), which has numerous advantages. This method allows any user to transport information at potentially "record breaking" speeds, regardless of their connection; The user only needs to initiate the process. For instance, 2 OC-3 (155 megabits per second (100 T-1s) Ave. cost $20,000.-$45,000./mo.) rated servers can exchange data at the expense of a 28.8k user on a dial-up model. Many have exploited this resource on the internet, and it continues in large part today. However, with the rise of open-source, and data exchange on the public level, peer-to-peer services have emerged.

The largest and most commonly used peer-to-peerservice is Bittorrent, becoming increasinly dominant. The success has even moved the program from open-source into the corporate domain (i.e. BitTorrent.com). Creator Brad Cohen, is now a partner in "BitTorrent", allegedly the "global standard" for the peer-to-peer framework. The original little bit of code written in Python has proved convient for users, and a headache for Internet Service Providers (ISP). By now, various major ISP, most notably Ted Rogers', have begun implementing their own strategies to control the usage of BitTorrent. The community, energetic and willing to fight, have answered with various strategies, most notably encryption and private trackers. The aim is to disguise packets in order to avoid the traffic shaping tools put in place by the ISP.

Legally... is another story

Will continue on another day...

Paradox of Progress

Time does indeed go by very quickly; like a bird that perches and/or flies away. Most of these hours and minutes have been occupied by darkness and uncertainty, ultimately making me that much more aware of the world around me. Throughout this time I have exercised my social faculties, forgotten lots, and learned much. The uphill trek through the educational system has brought triumph, and blunders - most of them new experiences.

I would not have pictured myself as I am now, but who really can? I have never really strived for anything, as I have found that anticipation is a great precursor to disappointment. Although this apparent lack of "goal setting" will most likely prove problematic. Yet when I observe those around me, I am not alone. Many eager minds, forced (or not) into the post-secondary school system, are in the same dilemma. Just what is it that I want to do the rest of my life? In other words, what will bring me most happiness.

The education I have receieved has shaken the principles that I so naively held onto all through my youth. Although I'm still very much a product of the twisted Western ideals that have been so meticulously crafted for me (and society). It took a really long time to draw some cognitive line between 'how things are', and 'why these things are the way they are'. The more I learn from my academia however, the more hungry I get. Diving into a book, or article only opens avenues that are completely alien to me - a phenomenon that I had to pay tuition for, to really understand.

As I progress, I'm eventually going to get a degree from University. It'll be pure satisfaction on that day, for I will have definitely earned it. After that is accomplished, I do not know - planning ahead is not my nature. Some have said it is disheartening, a flaw of my personality. Personally, it makes living in the 'now' a whole lot more enjoyable. Why the hell would I plan for the future in this ridiculously unpredictable world? I doubt it'll explode into cosmic dust or have some nuclear war; world leaders are not THAT stupid or that generous. They need to compound their wealth. Generations of hard work won't be thrown away because some politician is feeling courageous and cocky. There's alot more to the "global village" then merely a global village...

Many of those people I once knew are gone now, forever I suppose.The world is a small place, but not so small that I'm optimistic to see them again. This doesn't sadden me; you really cannot rely on others for your own happiness. Plus, I do not care enough in many circumstances to give a shit. Maybe I'm bi-polar? Have some illness? Over exaggerating?Although there are definitely a select few who add to my peacefulness daily. Its definitely not the naivety I felt in my earlier days, but something of worth; worth holding onto. Separating the pleasures of the Mind, from those of the Soul took a shit load of inner searching (and yes, all that exists and is possible!) and many failed attempts. It will never be complete, but the more I look, the more complete I become. Growing up is definitely a downside to this living thing, but living in ignorance is pretty shitty too. I think that is why I do not like many people. So many people I have met are so fixated on one thing (in the city, usually money or getting laid/'crunk'), or so close-minded or very poor bookworms. They just do not see the big picture, things don't happen in some big bubble (cough cough, the "Butterfly Effect", anyone?). This aspect of Earth is so important, yet so many simple choose to ignore it, or don't understand it. It's beyond the fact that we're all in 'this' together - flora AND fauna, rock AND cloud, body AND soul. The problem is, preaching something a certain way is only going to draw criticism. I truly believe there will never be peace or balance on earth as long as man is ruling. There's just too many things going on, too many problems, too many unknowns. It'll take centuries upon centuries to fix what we've done, and in that time, new problems will take over the old. The paradox of progress perhaps.

What's that worth, G

It is difficult to say when one as a "revelation" which can be religious in value. We could merely be ignorant and not "see" them, or on the other hand, they could be hogwash. Some universal truth, bestowed in us for a short period, that seems to make all things united. I had some sort of that feeling, a likened to that of a dream while waking state. It came from an old memory of when I was a preteen. The age of pure innocence - I had no care, no concern, no folly. Now, I exist in the age of increased awareness. It's not something that I want really, but I guess it comes with maturation. Things are seen in some metaphysical light, casting truths forth. Subjective investigation replaces aimless curiosity.

The world is so expansive. I'm utterly swallowed. It is an exciting time, but also one that scares the shit out of me. If I dare wonder about it. The next few years of my life are going to decide some of those 'building blocks' of a person's 'worth'. Scary because I'm going to be all alone this time. Hopefully isolation won't grip me too tightly.

I sometimes ponder just how oneself can progress so effortlessly, wihout the body even knowing. Oneself is some crazy idea that's for sure. What dos it mean to be "you"? Are you some labels from the buddies like "funny", "sexy", are you perhaps more ethically tuned and are "caring", "understanding". Can "you" be summed up in english words, or even words period? Do the actions we partake in daily, have done, and/or will do - contribute to this notion of "you", "me"? And I don't mean some crazy "being" sense of this word. But more along the lines of: What does X person think of "you"? What (function, purpose,etc) are you to X? It's very unsettling to be put into one word. "Sister", "Friend", "Wife", "Girlfriend". Is all we are just another concept of where we live in? Surely Neanderthal man did not know the notion of a sister. Friend perhaps, father okay, but the idea of a more specialized relationship.

I don't like to be classed as one word to people. I should be worth a lot more than a simple set of letters! Maybe the only true appreciators of ourselves, is infact ourself.

Grumble.

Peter need friends.

Gurgle.

People always delight me. Bring me joy, no matter what their tidings bid. I simply love people, especially the way they interact. I'm but a casual observer, taking it everything my peers do. A big heatsink of experience - if you want to call it that. So when someone comes to me with a problem, especially a close friend, I am all there, all willing to show them what I have learned. Enlighten them perhaps, if my wisdom "vat" is capable of doing so.

Likewise, I like someone who will be able to understand the "visions" I bring, and critique them. It's a very difficult role - not too sound cocky. But there has been maybe 2, mostly 1 who have been able to. Been able to lighten my heart, and liften my soul - bring me happiness, joy, comfort, companionship.

Friends are a type of people. A more distinct and personal form. Incredible in their impact on others, but able to be un-friended at any moment in our current perception of time (where t = 0; and progreses in 1 second intervals). It's incredible what we can learn from them, and more important share with them.

I just wish friends would realize the true merit of the title, and work to make sure it is eternal. There are definitely SOME bonds were morth than others.